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Review Of Dog Beths Wedding
Here comes The Dog, no longer on a Harley Hog is how Duane Dog Chapman opens up this longawaited episode in which he makes an honest woman of Beth Smith, his long term common law wife and fellow bounty hunter. If Beth were ever to smother dog and she certainly does have the proper natural equipment to do that, it would have occurred in this episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter. Airing on Tuesday night, August 8, 2006 was the episode many have been waiting for To Love and to Cherish Dog and Beths Wedding.
We see the Chapmans in the week leading up to their nuptials, and Beth is obsessed like most women with buying new shoes, fitting her wedding dress, and getting her hair done. Basically, her head is in the veil and not in the Bounty. It couldnt be more removed from the thoughts of Dog, which focus around catching a slew of fugitives, including a former Navy seaman named Brice. Brice is being hunted down for jumping bond after a criminal history that includes theft and drugs. Dog amplifies the risk of this bounty by saying that Brice is a trained killer since he was in the Service at one point.
Of course, Beth is ticked off that her intended is focused on grimy criminals instead of diamonds and roses, but this is Dog and we know he always pulls through in the end. If he doesnt, rest assure Beth will make his life miserable for a long time. The woman is ruthless, and Dog is whipped. In the words of his son Leland, Looks like Dads going to fold like a tent again when Beth gives Dog a hard time. Decked out in leather, covered in prisonissue tats and always packing mace, Dog is Beths to kick around. This episode is no different.
Beth has picked out a classic tux for Dog, who will have no part of that, thank you very much. Dog insists he is wearing a bulletproof vest with no shirt, jeans and a can of mace. He tells Beth that he has been in prison before and there is no way he is going to trap himself in the prison of a suit.
Id rather just get married as the Dog, he says. If not, he said hes not looking forward to the funeral that is his wedding. Poor Beth, marrying the Dog in his stinky old vest and a can of pepper spray. So, how does she cope She goes to the local stripper store to buy her wedding shoes. After trying on several pairs of plastic domepumps, she settles on a pair while stating every
brides golden rule When you go shopping where the strippers and hos go, youll always score.
Not to be outdone by Hollywood starlets, Beth flies to Hollywood for a custom made dress. If you have ever seen Beth, youll know what stands in the way between Beth and a standard fit dress. Heres a hint there are two of them. It is a beautiful dress actually, and should go well with her plastic stripper shoes.
The first bounty goes pretty well, and they catch Brice with a window puncher in his pants. The fugitive tells Dog he had just found it in someones apartment. We all know Dog aint no Harvard grad, but when it comes to Criminals 101 you cant get anything past him. Dog cant resist pouring a bucket of salt into his wounds, telling Brice hell be called BoPeep in prison. But then Dogs heart of gold takes over and he gives the fugitive a cigarette and lights it for him. This is a rite of passage for anyone who gets apprehended by the DOG; youll always get a cancer stick as a reward. Thanks Dog!
The nuptials are a day or two away and Dog apprehends another fine citizen who claims to just have some jewelry in his pocket. Turns out its an ice pipe. I guess he wears it in his mouth. Iceheads, crackheads, basketball size breasts and stripper heels, sigh. Brings back memories of my own nuptials. Honestly, who other than the Chapmans host a gala affair in the midst of such an odd assembly of characters Of course, it all makes for good TV and for the more sentimental of us, it all does the heart good.
While Dog is out hunting down these characters he misses his own wedding rehearsal. But its all good; he makes it for the party afterwards, which looks like a blast. Full Hawaiian garb, fragrant orchidladen leis, tables of food and Dog in his conchshell braids. Beth is looking forward to her wedding day and forgives Dog for missing the rehearsal. She puts it into perspective, saying Today Big Daddy got his man, and tomorrow I get mine.
After such a happy night, the morning of the wedding brings somber news for the Chapman family. Dogs daughter, who lives in Alaska, was killed in a car accident; his daughter died on his wedding day. The familys tremendous faith and love for one another enables them to go through with the wedding, though he cries throughout the day for his daughter. Dog says, There is a time to mourn and its not right now. If God wanted to stop the wedding he wouldnt have killed my baby. Thats not God. In true Dog style, he follows this tender moment with one of his cheesy but heartfelt expressions, This blood dont run.
The sun comes out, a legless woman arrives in a wheelchair and Dog and Beth say I Do. Finally after all these years we have Mr. and Mrs. Dog Chapman, joined by handcuffs and hair bleach forever..